By Mandy Moraes, NLPS staff
The start of a new school year can bring excitement for some children and tens about going back to class, but for others, the first few weeks can lead to a lot of worry and sleepless nights.
Angela Roguski, a learning coordinator for Nanaimo Ladysmith Public Schools who focuses on student wellness, says that feeling of uncertainty is completely normal.
“I never want to pathologize anxiety,” she said. “Because we all have it, we all have stress.”
Worrying about the first day of school can show up differently for each child. Some might have trouble sleeping or changes in appetite, while others might get headaches or stomach aches. Some children and youth may also show irritability or refuse or be reluctant to go back to school altogether.
Roguski says, sometimes children and teens will tell you exactly what is bothering them. They might not know who their teacher will be, or they may be worried about whether a particular student will be in their class. For younger children, it could be the separation from a parent or caregiver. For a teenager, it might be something as everyday as getting stuck on what to wear that morning.
One of the best ways adults can help is by listening.
Rather than quickly saying things like “don’t worry” or “you’ll be fine,” Roguski suggests that parents, caregivers, and school staff should acknowledge what a child is feeling and ask questions about it.
“It looks like you’re feeling nervous about school. That totally makes sense, because you’ve never been to Grade 4 before,” she offered as one example.
After that, Roguski says asking children and teens what feels hard and what could help can guide them to understand the problem and find a solution.
Sometimes, the solution can be simple and practical.
For example, a child who is nervous about finding their way in a new school could walk through their schedule and visit the school ahead of time. Younger children might feel more comfortable if they know when recess is or who will pick them up. Teenagers who worry about what to wear can choose their outfit the night before to make mornings easier.
Having regular routines for sleep, meals, and getting ready in the morning can also help make mornings less stressful at home.
“Know your kid, know where they get stuck, and do your best on planning around that,” Roguski said.
But making things easier doesn’t mean taking away everything that makes a student nervous, she says. Avoiding those situations can actually make the anxiety stronger.
Roguski says the better approach is to give children the tools they need to work through it.
Practise. Put supports in place. Let them know it’s okay to be nervous, but also that you believe they can do the hard thing.
“I want parents to embody the calm but strong leader,” Roguski said. “To show your child that you trust that although you know this is hard, you do trust that they can do it.”
She says the goal is to help all children and teens be brave and slowly build their confidence.
For most children and teens, September worries fade as they get used to their classroom, routines, and new friends. But if anxiety keeps happening, affects different parts of a student’s life, or leads to missing school, families do not have to handle it by themselves.
Parents and caregivers can begin by reaching out to their school. Principals, school counsellors, Child, Youth and Family Support Workers, and other school staff can help students and families figure out what support is needed.
Nanaimo Ladysmith Public Schools families can also check the Wellness Guide for information about wellbeing and resources for school, community, and provincial mental health.
Sometimes, making the first weeks of school easier begins with something simple: listening to what your child or teen is worried about, helping them understand what to expect, and reminding them that many people are there to support them.